Weldon Contradicted by His Own Source

Today's Delco Times reports the following mouthful: Weldon’s claims that Sestak’s campaign involved with recent investigations denied by own source

Weldon's paranoia hit new highs Wednesday when he claimed that the Sestak campaign was behind the recent leak of an FBI investigation into influence peddling by Weldon. His "source", a retired FBI agent, Gregory Auld, supposedly told him that a Sestak worker "was bragging that three weeks ago they knew this was going to come down."

[CUE SOUND OF OTHER SHOE DROPPING...]
The problem is that the Delco Times actually called Mr. Auld

who told an entirely different story.
"No, that’s not what happened," he said in a phone interview, when asked about Weldon’s statements.
Auld, a retired FBI agent from Drexel Hill, said a man at a local gym - he refers to him as "Grumpy" because he doesn’t know his name - told him Tuesday that another man in a Sestak shirt said three weeks ago that "something big" would happen to Weldon last weekend. Auld then approached the Sestak supporter, who told him, "We kind of sniffed this out."

Wow. A guy in a Sestak shirt in a gym. There's a source for you. And Weldon couldn't even get that quote right from Auld and sexed it up a bit for the press.

"The inference was that something was in the works, but he was never specific as to what it was," Auld said of the man wearing the Sestak shirt.

Umm.. could the Sestak worker been referring to new lit pieces that were going to hit Weldon.

Even taken at face value, Weldon's claim fails the smell test:

First of all, the supporters that wear the T-shirts are the worker-bees and they are outside the loop. The guys wearing the ties run the show and barely know where/when Joe's next campaign event is because schedules shift constantly. Weldon's the only candidate here that thinks he's James Bond, but has all the talent of Inspector Clouseau.

Second, I've been to Sestak headquarters and met the workers. No one there has any life outside the campaign, let alone getting out to a gym. They barely have time to run out for a hoagie or pizza or their hourly Starbucks fix. Heck, I haven't been to my own gym in a month, and I'm just reading newspapers, following the campaign and blogging.

Third, Weldon seems to forget that Aberto "Torture Memo" Gonzales runs the Justice Department. This guy would defy the Geneva Conventions to support neo-con view of the world. There's no way this investigation got underway without his direct approval. There is also no way he would have let the investigation go forward if he thought there was any chance it was unfounded. Curt, exactly how big is the conspiracy? And what color is the sky in Conspiracy-world?

Fourth, Weldon's blame Clinton strategy has yet to hit its inevitable final step and shocking revelation: Clinton hid mind control devices in government offices to get officials to go after Weldon. (remember, Pulitzer committee: I scooped everyone)
As a precaution, I think Curt should start wearing a hat made of aluminum foil to protect himself against mind-probes and thought control (memo: butter, eggs, milk, get a thought). This way, Curt will be the only sane one left in control to save us all. Maybe Curt could put the foil inside one of those novelty plastic fire helmets (for which Weldon spent nearly $6,000 of campaign funds).

Fifth, another Weldon claim will inevitably have to be: All those people/pundits that said Joe could beat Curt must have been in on the conspiracy.

Now the election is only a few weeks away, but I'll let you all in on a secret, but don't tell Curt... All the Dems and GOP love Curt and were afraid he was getting bored with the easy wins he had in the past. So, everybody in Delaware County got together and cooked up the entire race as a prank for the MTV show: Punk'd
Yep, on election day, Sestak is even going to pop-out of a cake at Weldon's victory party. Oh, yeah, and someone's going to present Curt with the missing Able-Danger chart clearly showing Mohammed Atta (it's out being framed right now). There will be some WMD's from Saddams hidden stockpiles too. Curt's friend, the Reverend Sun Young Moon will annoint Weldon to be his "assistant ruler of the universal.....
Staffer: Those smelling salts seem to be working. Curt? Do you know where you are?
Weldon: Five more minutes, Mommy. I'm helping rule the universe....
Staffer: Mommy? Universe? No Curt. You're at campaign headquarters. We just got the election results and we've been trying to revive you ever since. Here, put your aluminum hat back on, it makes you feel safer.
Weldon: Okay. So, how much did I win by?
Staffer: [silence]